So I am sitting here on the front porch of the place I’m staying in Mt. Pleasant, Michigan. It’s about noon, it’s warm and a little humid but the breeze hits this spot just right. It’s so quiet all I hear is the leaves blowing and the crickets chirping…with an occasional car that goes by.
This weekend I moved my first born and only son into college, 1,910 miles away from home. Oh yes, you better believe I mapped it. Everyone has been telling me I am going to cry my eyes out…I have heard “Get ready for the waterworks.”, etc., and sure I have shed a couple tears here and there, but the opening of the floodgates hasn’t really come. Some have told me, “Just wait, it will.”, and maybe it will, but I don’t think so.
I am not trying to be tough or say crying is a bad thing, but God has showed me something very powerful in this short weekend. Letting go is a beautiful thing. In fact, it’s the most powerful thing you can do because it allows God to release a whole different level of intimacy with Him into your life, and those you love.
After I said my goodbyes to my son, and got about a million “just one more” hugs, I came back to my room and reflected those moments with him. Every time a tear came, I heard this soft whisper ask me “Why are you crying?”. I tried to answer but realized, though there was an ache in my heart knowing he would not be under my roof anymore, I wasn’t sad.
You see, in letting go, this is where you put your money where your mouth is when it comes to trusting God. Not just when it comes to your kids, but in that area of whatever it is you are holding on to. I think I have cried more out of the gratefulness in my heart as I have seen everything fall into place, than out of sadness.
There is no logical way that my son should be able to go across the country to chase his dreams. But through his own perseverance, the financial support of family and friends, here we are. (Which by the way, if you are reading this, all his graduation money is going towards what he has left to pay for tuition, so you are TRULY a part of his journey!) Even the places we have stayed in Michigan have introduced us to people who have offered to be a familiar face to my son, just so he knew he was not all alone.
Every time I pray for my son, with a whole list of “please God ______”, I am reminded that there is nothing I can ask that He has not already taken care of, and He reminds me of all I have already seen. There is no greater peace that comes than the realization that you have been in the safe hands of the Father all this time. You can’t even really pray to ask Him to carry you because you realize that He already has been! That’s like ordering your breakfast after it’s already been placed in front of you!
I have laid the foundation for my son, it is his time to grow and encounter God for himself in this season. The excitement in that far outweighs any ache in my heart!
In letting go, we could be afraid of all the “what if’s” but wouldn’t you rather kick those in the face and embrace all of the possibilities our heavenly Father has in store? That’s what it is all about! Faith isn’t faith if you insist on being in control. God can do so much more with your hands OFF than He can with your hands on something. The fear of falling will always come knocking at your door, but you don’t have to answer that. Instead, embrace the possibility of flying and watch as He leads you to soar!
Thank you for sharing your wisdom and your heart.
Make a more new posts please 🙂